I heart fake smoking

Today a childhood wish came true. 

It has been my dream maybe since I was 4 years old to have a Cruela DeVille cigarette holder and today that dream became a reality. This isn’t a toy cigarette holder either, it’s the real deal – 12 inches long, black with a gold tip. It’s amazing.

Now, I don’t smoke, nor will I start up again. I had a brief phase in university where I would hit up a ciggy butt after a few too many shooters but after growing up a bit and realizing that it was just a slow form of suicide, I knicked that nastiness out of my nightlife repertoire. Now I prefer to just keep with the fake smoking.  

I started fake smoking pretzels at a very early age. I didn’t even really like eating pretzels but I’d have my mom buy the stick ones for me. I would break one of in half and use it as the match. I would strike it on the table and light the end of my pretzel cigarette hanging from my mouth. As I would take a pull off my (menthol) preztel, I would discreetly nibble a bite off as to give the effect of my cigarette burning down. Once it was a tiny butt I would stub it out in my ashtray and light up another. I was a chain smoker.

In later life I took to smoking pens. I still do it to this day. My ex and I would be sitting down doing some work at a cafe and all of a sudden he’d look up and catch me and be like ‘ um, babe, are you smoking you’re pen?” I’d take a drag, inhale deeply, answer yes, then exhale my fake smoke.

Not sure why I have such a fascination with fake smoking or take such pleasure in it, but I do, and now things just got taken up a whole new level of make believe fun. If you’d like to pick up one of these sassy little vintage diva sticks of your own they are $30 (yes, I actually spent $30 dollars on this purchase) at Courage My Love in Kensington Market. I strolled around the shops today and got many a compliment/confused look on my ‘oh so chic’ cigarette holder.