it’s not goodbye, just so long…

This one time I heard a Celine Dion quote where she said ‘ this isn’t goodbye, it’s just so long’. Oh nut bag Celine, I just eat up your random  nonsensical ways. The quote is one of my fav’s and so I find myself either saying it to others or repeating in my own head for a chuckle every once in a while… However, in this case, I think it’s aptly fitting because, well, I’m ending my blog.

Quite simply,  I’m no longer dating myself. The blog has done it’s job, in more ways than one. I started it to really and truly get to know myself. To date and hopefully fall in love with myself. To accept all of me, the good the bad and the totally bizarre, all with humour, humility and hopefully, a dash of bravery. Well I think I did it. Me and myself had an amazing 2 years totally together – full of friendship and family; breakdowns and breakthroughs; extreme joy and bottomless sorrow, and posted it all on the interweb as a means to make it real and lasting.  To get to a place where I could honestly say that I unconditionally loved myself, and to be finally ready to unconditionally love someone else.

And that’s where I’m at now.

I’ve fallen head over heels madly and truly in love. I finally met my soul mate, my Edward Cullen (at the Wheat Shef over wings and beer fittingly enough). At the worst of times, I thought it would never happen. I gave up on magical romantic movie love and it broke my heart to not have it and more so, to not believe in it anymore.

Well. I’m grateful, relieved and utterly ecstatic to concede that I was wrong. The Notebook and Ryan Gossling are real. I always felt cavernously deep down in my heart that my soul had it’s little match out there. That they would be hanging out with each other while I was sleeping and conspire our meeting up right when the timing was perfect. I’m a little pissed at my soul that she took her sweet ass time, made me sweat it out and put me through some pretty shit situations, but hey, she can be a bit of fucker with a great sense of humour and I gotta love her because she does know what’s best for me, always, even if I don’t. And of course, she did bring my love to me after all, in the most serene magical and unexpected way.  And so to her and the universe at large, I own them my happiness.

And so my sweet reader friends, this is not goodbye, it’s just so long. It’s time to end scene and fade to black and roll credits on this lifetime original movie. There might be a sequel to it, something a little ‘look who’s talking’ nowish down the road, or perhaps a paperback edition, but for now, Me, Myself and I are off line.

I want to thank you for reading. It’s meant so much to me to share this out there and to have people relate. Thank you for the emails and comments of encouragement or for silently getting something out of it, even if it was just a great birthday song to share with others on their joyous day of birth.

I’ll sign off with a song from one of my favorite (and Canadian) artists, Classified.

xoxo,
Kristen

backyard bbq

There’s a party about to happen in my back yard, and no I don’t mean doggy style!

A few friendies are coming over and I’m making t-bones steaks! I can’t believe it I actually watched one of my least favorite cooking shows this morning as I got dressed (Road Grill) . I find the guy to just be so over the top but he made these t-bones steaks that just looks scrum-didilly-umptious and so I rushed out to buy some! I’m also cooking up grilled corn on the cob, mixed veggies and a homemade Greek salad, inspired by my favorite salad on the planet, which can only be had at Bar Italia in Winnipeg. No joke I had one for lunch for about 12 days straight whilst I was home.

Anyway, I’m jazzed because I am loving my back patio now. My dad decked it out with ‘patio lights’ which are actually christmas lights, but instead of them being $7 a pack, they are now $29 a pack. Oh marketing, I love you. I also bought myself a lounge chair and new pillow puffs for my metal patio set. Needless to say my ‘outdoor living space’ is looking fantabulous!

thanks mom (not!)

I have run out of painting clothes. I dropped off a big load of clothes to Value Village last spring and got rid of most of my shit clothes and so I’ve ended up ruining my nice lu lu lemon sweat pants during tthe renno’s. Actaully, they weren’t that nice. My booty has grown a touch the past year and so these oldies but goodies sort of give me a camel toe now, but at any rate, I was said to see them sloshed with paint. A few items that I on purposely tried to  destroyed, but ironically with no luck was a collection of t-shirts that my mom bought me a while back. Not sure what she was thinking at the time, she normally has great style or at least has been known to pick out a few cute peices for me in the past however, she must have been high on Oxycontin because she got on this bizzare kick of buying me ‘tops’ with phrases on them. Now if writing across the chest on a t-shirts isn’t bad enough, these are just the worst sayings ever. Examples:

“My significant other says “meow” and;

“I’m not the girl next door, I’m the bi-atch down the block.”

Yeah. yeah. can you even imagine. What was wrong with her. Mom, what was wrong with you? At any rate, I was even humiliated wearing the t-shirt in front of my cat. I can’t bear to throw out a new item of clothing so I even thought of roller brushing some paint across my teets to hide the text and justify me tossing it in the gar-bagé. Anyway, mom, if you’re reading this, which I know you will be, no more t-shirts. thanks so much. Love you long time.

Also, just a note on the title of this post. I was flipping through an Ikea catalouge and laughed my ass off (LMAO) when I saw this one section dedicated to grabbing kids, showcasing super cool bedrooms and one of the tag lines in bold lettering across the page said, and I quote ” No parents allowed. Not!” — Um, ok Ikea, you’re about 16 years too late on that colloquialism. FYI, you nutty Sweeds, it’s totally uncool to say “not” nowadays. I think in effect you just did the exact opposite of your intention with that layout.

Ps – Micheal J Fox was a total ‘fox’ in the 80′s. “Casualties of War” is on and he is a cutie. Looking so slick in his fatigues. I love that guy! Also, John C Rielley, Sean Penn, and John Leguazamo are in this show. Imagine that!