thanks mom (not!)

I have run out of painting clothes. I dropped off a big load of clothes to Value Village last spring and got rid of most of my shit clothes and so I’ve ended up ruining my nice lu lu lemon sweat pants during tthe renno’s. Actaully, they weren’t that nice. My booty has grown a touch the past year and so these oldies but goodies sort of give me a camel toe now, but at any rate, I was said to see them sloshed with paint. A few items that I on purposely tried to  destroyed, but ironically with no luck was a collection of t-shirts that my mom bought me a while back. Not sure what she was thinking at the time, she normally has great style or at least has been known to pick out a few cute peices for me in the past however, she must have been high on Oxycontin because she got on this bizzare kick of buying me ‘tops’ with phrases on them. Now if writing across the chest on a t-shirts isn’t bad enough, these are just the worst sayings ever. Examples:

“My significant other says “meow” and;

“I’m not the girl next door, I’m the bi-atch down the block.”

Yeah. yeah. can you even imagine. What was wrong with her. Mom, what was wrong with you? At any rate, I was even humiliated wearing the t-shirt in front of my cat. I can’t bear to throw out a new item of clothing so I even thought of roller brushing some paint across my teets to hide the text and justify me tossing it in the gar-bagé. Anyway, mom, if you’re reading this, which I know you will be, no more t-shirts. thanks so much. Love you long time.

Also, just a note on the title of this post. I was flipping through an Ikea catalouge and laughed my ass off (LMAO) when I saw this one section dedicated to grabbing kids, showcasing super cool bedrooms and one of the tag lines in bold lettering across the page said, and I quote ” No parents allowed. Not!” — Um, ok Ikea, you’re about 16 years too late on that colloquialism. FYI, you nutty Sweeds, it’s totally uncool to say “not” nowadays. I think in effect you just did the exact opposite of your intention with that layout.

Ps – Micheal J Fox was a total ‘fox’ in the 80′s. “Casualties of War” is on and he is a cutie. Looking so slick in his fatigues. I love that guy! Also, John C Rielley, Sean Penn, and John Leguazamo are in this show. Imagine that!