Archive for May 7, 2010

it’s not goodbye, just so long…

This one time I heard a Celine Dion quote where she said ‘ this isn’t goodbye, it’s just so long’. Oh nut bag Celine, I just eat up your random  nonsensical ways. The quote is one of my fav’s and so I find myself either saying it to others or repeating in my own head for a chuckle every once in a while… However, in this case, I think it’s aptly fitting because, well, I’m ending my blog.

Quite simply,  I’m no longer dating myself. The blog has done it’s job, in more ways than one. I started it to really and truly get to know myself. To date and hopefully fall in love with myself. To accept all of me, the good the bad and the totally bizarre, all with humour, humility and hopefully, a dash of bravery. Well I think I did it. Me and myself had an amazing 2 years totally together – full of friendship and family; breakdowns and breakthroughs; extreme joy and bottomless sorrow, and posted it all on the interweb as a means to make it real and lasting.  To get to a place where I could honestly say that I unconditionally loved myself, and to be finally ready to unconditionally love someone else.

And that’s where I’m at now.

I’ve fallen head over heels madly and truly in love. I finally met my soul mate, my Edward Cullen (at the Wheat Shef over wings and beer fittingly enough). At the worst of times, I thought it would never happen. I gave up on magical romantic movie love and it broke my heart to not have it and more so, to not believe in it anymore.

Well. I’m grateful, relieved and utterly ecstatic to concede that I was wrong. The Notebook and Ryan Gossling are real. I always felt cavernously deep down in my heart that my soul had it’s little match out there. That they would be hanging out with each other while I was sleeping and conspire our meeting up right when the timing was perfect. I’m a little pissed at my soul that she took her sweet ass time, made me sweat it out and put me through some pretty shit situations, but hey, she can be a bit of fucker with a great sense of humour and I gotta love her because she does know what’s best for me, always, even if I don’t. And of course, she did bring my love to me after all, in the most serene magical and unexpected way.  And so to her and the universe at large, I own them my happiness.

And so my sweet reader friends, this is not goodbye, it’s just so long. It’s time to end scene and fade to black and roll credits on this lifetime original movie. There might be a sequel to it, something a little ‘look who’s talking’ nowish down the road, or perhaps a paperback edition, but for now, Me, Myself and I are off line.

I want to thank you for reading. It’s meant so much to me to share this out there and to have people relate. Thank you for the emails and comments of encouragement or for silently getting something out of it, even if it was just a great birthday song to share with others on their joyous day of birth.

I’ll sign off with a song from one of my favorite (and Canadian) artists, Classified.

xoxo,
Kristen

May 7, 2010 at 5:12 13 comments


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