facebook in moderation.

I’ve been thinking about giving up Facebook. Like closing my account and living off the FB grid and I’m wondering if I could really do it.

Like, really. Everyone knows the cliché jokes about facebook. It’s even a bit Ray Ramonoish (aka lame) to even be commenting on it. But seriously, Facebook is both uber pathetic but almost a nessessary evil at this point in the game.

At first I really did believe FaceBook was just the second or third or 90th coming of Friendster. That soon the fad would pass and there would be another site that I’d have to sign up for and then collect friends on, but I’m wondering now if it’s really more comparable to email rather then a MySpace or a LinkedIn. If it’s some slice of technology that is actually here to stay and as time goes is actually mandatory for living in year 2000′s.

I’m wondering if it’s something that can be lived without (ok, yeah I know I can live without most things, but I mean live without in the social context. ie: you can’t really live without a cell phone anymore, or email for that matter, or a web page if you are a business). But I wonder if Facebook is like that.

I mean, first off – I use facebook a lot and not just for checking it 20 times a day and reading people status updates (which feels so super lame when no new updates have been added the last 4-6 times I’ve been on…) but I use it to post new blog entries, to have a biz fan page for the 10 spot, to send invites for events, to stalk crushes, to find out dirt on Ex’s, to check out potential employee’s or business contacts, to make lewd public jokes with friends – like it really is useful in that modern Gen Y kind of way, but I’ve been wondering lately, as I’ve had more time on my hands being in the ‘peg, and checking my FB everytime few hours, if it’s just the most stupid waste of time on the planet and if I should be giving it up, or like I posed earlier, is it really here to stay… Twitter I can see going down, but FB, I’m not so certain…

There was this one time where I was stalking a guy crush, I think it was the fellow from Shark Water and at the time I didn’t want to friend add him, because – I don’t do adds, people have to add me – it’s a power thing – and so I had my friend add him so that we could have access to his page. Anyway, it took weeks for her request to go through, not because he was ignoring her or denying her request, but because he was never on. Like never, no updates, no posts, no links, nothing. Then finally after quite a long stint (or it was long to us because we were so eager) he did this giant friend accept batch – like swear to god he must have had about 50 friend requests and it seemed like he finally got around to checking his FB and then took care of all the accepts in one batch.

After seeing that (and waking up to the fact that I was checking my page (and my friends) like 600 times a day I felt like a loser ass bastard) I said to myself ‘I want to be so busy that I don’t have time to check my facebook’ soon after, I did become that busy, with opening up the new 10 spot, I was honestly going weeks without an arbitrary moment to spend being filled in on feeds from my online friends.

Now, looking back and being soooo much wiser, I realize that wasn’t quite the answer. I shouldn’t have to have an onslaught of work to keep me from obsessively checking my FaceBook and I guess I shouldn’t have to banish myself from my account either, because, hell, it is a useful tool when used with caution. Who knows, there might be a crush in my future that I have to see if he is in any douchy pics of him holding a bottle of vodka at Brant House…

At any rate and as with everything in life: Moderation is the key. A glass or two of wine is ok when out for dinner with some friends, but waking up to a two-four and a mickey of vodka for breakfast is certainly not, and so, I’m going to be skimming back on my intake of FB to more moderate levels…

so um, off to post this on Facebook…

Help! My man has snaggle feet.

Ok, so actually when I wrote the teaser about snaggle feet at the end of The Ten Spot’s last months newsletter, it was actually just a little inside joke with myself, but turns out a lot of people wanted to hear about it. So here we go.

I have a lot of experience with snaggle feet. My father has some of the worst snaggle feet the lord has most likely ever created, followed closely by my ex-boyfriend’s – who’s snaggle toes were almost unbearable to look at, nevermind to have touching my legs under the sheets at bedtime. So I had to take matters into my own hands since he had no concept of what a ‘normal’ foot should look and feel like.

When I asked him why he’d never had a pedicure (when his girlfriend owned a spa) he gave me some pretty good insight into why guys don’t opt for this service so much. Turns out it’s a few things, and sadly those reasons just aren’t justification enough for not getting it done. Our men might need a little coaxing, a little reassurance and perhaps even a little forcing (or withholding). But trust me, it’s worth it and once they have one done, they will be hooked!

Excuse #1: Shame

The main issue I’ve found with men is that they don’t want other women to see what bad shape their feet are in. I’ve been told by several guys that they’d like to have a pre-pedicure before getting  pedicure and since that doesn’t exist, they end up having nothing done. My answer to this, and what ever single esthetician out there will say is that no matter how bad somebody thinks their feet are in – they’ve most likely seen worse. It’s what they do. They see hundreds of feet, muff and blackheads in a month – not too much grosses theses gals out. In order to get into esthetics you sort of have to have a passion for picking, plucking and popping things. So, it’s sort of like – the greater the challenge the better! To turn the grossest of male feet into something soft and touchable is like a gift. A gift that you give to your esthetican and a gift that she gives you back. Pay it forward.

Excuse #2: ticklishness

ok, so some guys are really ticklish and they just hate having their feet touched. My ex was like this. In fact if he was in the bath and you went to touch his feet he might just kick you in the face. It was funny at first to try and bug him by grabbing a toe or two but I soon realized I really could get my face punched in. At any rate, this one is a toughy and all I can say is that sometimes you gotta just grit your teeth and bare it guys. It’s for the greater good and once again, our girls are trained professionals and they can be a bit more aggressive with the rubbing and the scrubbing to lessen the ‘tickle’ factor. Big boy it up and get ‘er done.

Excuse #3: ‘It’s not manly’

This one is perhaps the big one. It’s just not manly. That guys don’t go to lady spa’s and get their feet done. Ok, so no one would really ever say that out loud anymore, everyone is so perfectly PC nowadays, but it’s there in the back of their minds for sure. This I understand, I do. Guys don’t want to enter a place decked out in pinks and pastels to have fluffy services done while wearing a robe. I’m sorry but guys just do not loo bad ass in a robe. It’s like a man drinking a vodka soda out of a straw, something are best not done. So this is perhaps the best bit of news… The Ten Spot is launching a GENT GROOMING BAR! Yep, we’ve rented the space next door to the Leslieville location and it’s in the works of being turned into a ‘just for Gent’s’ Grooming Bar.

Booya, no more embarassment. Just getting cleaned up, man styles!

Spread the word good ladies, spread the word!!!

In the meantime, we’ve still got our menu just for the Gents and of course, both locations are anti fluff and stuff anyway, so feel free to bring in the fella’s to The Ten Spot and we’ll keep you posted on the Gent Grooming Bar.

home

Heading back home tomorrow am. My trusty friend Heather is picking my ass up in my car from the airport. god love you girl.

Had a super fun time being here and meeting all my mom’s friends (seeing as I was with her 24/14). Bar I, good times. Also, just wanted to send out good energy to my mom’s friend Sue (and her son Alec) for Monday. Will be thinking of you guys.

PS – I am obsessed with this song… appropriately named, Home.

Where everybody knows your name.

Welp, I’m still in the Dub PG (which stands for WPG, which stands for Winnipeg) and I’ve just been chillaxing. Hard core. Thought I’d be back on Tuesday, then extended to Wednesday, then to Thursday and then I was like, F it – I got a new book, let’s stay and do nothing till Sunday. I’ve never actually spent two weeks straight here in I think, like, since I moved away from home when I was 17 (28 now).

I have to say, this trip has really made me appreciate Winnipeg and being ‘home’ now that I’m over my snotty, “I need to live in cool cities” phase. Yep, I’ve loved living in New York, Montreal, Toronto (and Paris for a summer) but I gotta say, Winnipeg is just so…. nice. The people are so amazing. Like coming here just makes you love humanity again. I know there are good people everywhere but I don’t man, there is something about ‘peggers that is just different. Our license plates don’t say ‘friendly Manitboa’ for no reason. It’s really true. The peeps here are just really real. Down to earth, honestly genuine good souls. They really do go out of their way for you. I love it. It’s refreshing.  I swear to god, the Cheers theme song exactly sums up home and how I was feeling prior to my visit. Take a listen (in your mind) to the song…

Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn’t you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.

I love you Cheers theme song. Thanks for ‘getting me’.

Anyway, I’ve just downloaded ‘Of Mice and Men’ on audio book, read by Gary Sinise and so I might just have a bath in my mom’s whirlpool tub and take a listen to Lieutenant Dan’s rendition of the classic tale.

doing nothing.

I’ve been at home in Winnipeg for the past week trying to do nothing – and I’m happy to report – I’ve been successful at it!

Only done a minimal amount of work (via the magic of the interweb) and with the rest of the week I’ve read, watched tv, ate, visited some fam and slept! Like real naps! Ahhhh!!! and guilt free too!

I’ve also been able to – for the most part – stop thinking too! Which is so fantastic I can’t even express! I haven’t even thought past the hour the entire week. Which is both bizarre for me and totally needed.

Anyway, just finished a two hour bath whilst reading “Ergon” which is a tween fantasy book about Dragons and Wizards! Booya! It’s great. I’m sure it’ll be a movie soon. Now having my mom make me night night snack.

God, it’s nice to be taken care of.

oh, hello again.

wow. It’s been an entire week since I’ve written here – or anywhere for that matter. Think that’s the longest I’ve ever gone on a blog hiatus.

I’ve been busy and not, all at the same time. Been doing great and awful. Felt inspired and full of despair. Calm and anxious. Connected and utterly alone and lonely…

It’s been bizarre to say the least and I’ve been hesitant to write it all out because it’s just been all too confusing and messy.Things are on the mend, I hope  but fuck it’s been a weird time for me to say the least. Anyway, as I did mention, I have been having some great moments interspersed with the bad. Some highlights of the past week are:

- found the best fricking dance fitness class on the planet. The teacher is unreal. I’m now stalking her around the city at all the gyms she teaches at. I’m actually looking forward to working out! She’s amazing – her web sitey site is here.

- been swing dancing twice in the past two weeks. LOVE IT! Go. that’s all I can say is go. Dances every week. see here.

- The 10 Spot is hosting a Brunch & Brazilians Event! Should be fun if I dare say so myself. Here is the little write up that I put out in our last newsletter…

“That’s right. The 10 Spot’s hosting Brunch & Brazilians! Why not get waxed with a mimosa in hand! Grab some gal pals and make a morning out of your muffin maintenance. Continental brunch and bevies are served up while you mix and mingle with other stellar ladies, then get called into a private room for your service! Great for first timers that need a little liquid courage and friendship reinforcements!”

Brunch & Brazilians
Sunday, March 28th, 10:00am
The 10 Spot Leslieville / The Beach
1402 Queen Street East, Studio D1
$60.00 – gets you our famed Brazilly wax, brunch and bevie (tax in)!
Register Now – Clickity Clack Here! Only 12 spots available!

small wins

I was having a tough couples of days, like really tough and I was talking to my friend Mike, who is I think, is the best pep talk giver around – and he said that his key thing that he does when he gets down, is to take note of the ‘small wins’ – in other words, focus on everything that went good that day and leave the rest.

So, we made a little packed that we’d send each other a text each night with our “small wins” or “small wieners” as it’s become now, becuase both him and I enjoy a bit of a dirty focused sense of humour. So, this is my small wiener list for today:

• Asked the universe for a big piece of salmon today for lunch (trying to eat healthy). Parked, got out of the car, was going into a grocery store but almost ran right into an A-frame sign outside a bistro saying ‘citrus roasted salmon with side salad – $11′  – Booya!
• got invited to a dinner party tomorrow but already had plans. Was sad that I couldn’t go, but also didn’t want to miss the previously planned event, then later found out the other event starts at 6pm, and the dinner is at 8 – so I can now do both!
• sent out our new 10 spot newsletter using ‘chimp mail’ and it was fun to make and looks amazing and has lots of stats!
• was given a great idea from my friend Ryan about our online review ratings
• none of my cooking class group showed up tonight so I left after the demo but my Chef still gave me a whole roast chicken to make tomorrow!
• meditated outside because it was such a lovely evening and there were even stars out!

All in all – some pretty great small wins if I do say so myself.

dreams

Dreams are so fucking weird. I’m getting into this thing where before I go to sleep I ask that I can remember my dreams the next day – then , the next morning, right after waking, I try to quickly review them the dreams to the best of my abilities, which of course they are piecey and completely nonsensical. It’s a Deepak thing and I didn’t really understand why this is a good idea but thought I’d give it a try anyway.

Usually I never remember my dreams. I fall into full on coma sleeps where only black nothingness exists and it’s lovely.  However, since I’ve been doing the asking and the remembering – I’ve been getting some wacked ass shit. Example. Last night I drempt that I visited an abandoned shack with my mom and some other ladies of her demographic. Afterwords, I was in the bathroom and noticed that I had these little tiny black dots on my forearms. When I looked closer I noticed that they were little baby worms. I wasn’t completely grossed out, but enough to need them off of me, so I pulled them out of my arm.  One was even wrapped around my pinky finger, under the skin. Then I left the bathroom and next thing I know these worms turned into these amazing vacuum cleaners that don’t use up any energy or need to be plugged in and next thing I knew they were selling like hot cakes at Walmart and I kept having to supply more baby worms out of my forearm.

So I’m sort of wondering what the hell I’m supposed to do with this now. I think maybe that it’s not all dreams that are totally significant. Or maybe perhaps the significance will show up later on. In fact I did have one dream where something creepy happened. This guy I knew kissed me on the back of my neck in the dream and I just felt totally gross about it, like even the next day. Later on I had to make a decision about a situation that I was totally torn about and the guy in the dream was affiliated with this and so I was like, well, if even in my dreams I’m averse to this, there must be something to it….

yo, intuition – you maybe wanna weigh in on this?!

So I had a situation come up for me today where I just couldn’t make a decision on. In fact it’s something that’s been plaguing me for weeks. One of those things that I could talk myself in and out of both positions – stay or leave – something not unlike the kinds of mind trickery that takes place regards to guys.

I’ve been in so many situations where one half of my brain thinks I should end things and then the other half thinks I should stay. Both seem equally a good idea and a bad idea. Both have great arguments on each side. It’s funny because I’m a Philosophy major and that is exactly what we (and lawyers) are trained to do – argue both sides with equal belief and fervor. Most essays ended with lines like ‘ given the above mentioned arguments, a conclusion can not be concretely made.”….

Anyway, it wasn’t about a guy or girl this time, but I had a similar back and fourth going and no matter how hard I tried to ‘listen to my heart’, ‘go with my gut’ or let my intuition make the decision – it was like my soul went silent on me and it was just me and my dueling brain that were left to linger. This pissed me off earlier tonight and I was thinking how unfair it was that just when I need my intuition the most it seems to abandon me and I don’t get a clear answer from it.

But the thing of it is; I did get hints about it. I always get hints – the fact that my mind is battling it out – is exactly the clear sign of how I feel and is in fact, my intuition at play. If the question is ‘do I want to be with this guy’ Answer is ‘um, no. because if I did, I wouldn’t be asking this kind of thing.  or ‘Should I stay in this situation’  um, no because if I wanted to – again, I wouldn’t be asking. Like can I please get a sexy tattoo of this on my forearm, so I will remember that confusion is always just me not wanting to face what I already know. I don’t trust myself. I doubt my decisions and I’m always looking for confirmation that I made the right choice, even though I’m already receiving confirmation, just in the asking.

I think it’s because I’m always looking to hear a big booming voice being like, ‘Kristen, get out of this shit, a-sap buddy’ – but that has never happened, and might never (although I hope it will – would make life soooo much easier….). No, my intuition talks to me through signs and synchronicity and sometimes – although I don’t always pick up on it and I certainly don’t like it – through discord and anxiety.

And that’s exactly what happened tonight. I went ahead with something that I knew I didn’t want to go to, but went anyway because I was tired of arguing in my mind and was sooo ‘confused’ and sure enough – I felt awful after. And there you have it. My confirmation. Even though I really shouldn’t have needed it. But alas, the universe has all the patience in the world for me… you love me, don’t you tugger nut.

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I’m IN LOVE with this ad. Saw it on some chicky’s blog. I guess it aired during the superbowl… so cute. really.